Hookups & Hangups


I posted previously about what I call ‘Sadly Single Days’.  The days when being alone shifts to being lonely and you long for the companionship and support that comes as a part of being in a healthy, stable relationship.  I quote, "while generally content to chase my dreams, while waiting for that magical day when I either by plan or by chance encounter the man God chose specifically for me, today is what I secretly refer to as a “Sadly Single” day.”



I quote this post because over the last year or so I have sporadically been having dreams about a particular gentleman.  They’re not sexual dreams; they’re not physically intimate in any way, but they are lingering and thought-provoking.  When the dreams began I took them as a sign to become more committed to personal fitness (the gentleman is a personal trainer), and as a result began to eat better and exercise more.  When I began to stray from the path, I began dreaming about this gentleman again and was certain that my personal fitness journey was the reason why he was invading my psyche…until recently.

Recently I have been eating relatively well, especially given the holiday season, but the dreams have returned.  Because I have been [relatively] remaining on track, I began to question further why this particular man is invading my dreams.  Seeking insight from friends, I was told that I have a crush on this man.  I immediately dismissed the theory, not finding myself in the slightest bit physically attracted to him. One friend suggested he could be set aside by God as my husband, not knowing that I’ve been around him more than a decade and never really noticed him until a few years ago. 

My thoughts were such that, if he were set aside for me, God’s opportunities to bring us together have been unending.  That’s what I was thinking, but I said, “God wouldn’t give me a husband and make me have to throw away all my shoes!”  The man is significantly short, so much so that I am wearing flats in all of my dreams about him, despite not actually owning any flat shoes.  Though I responded to one friend in this fashion, my response to my best friend, who’s been present the entire time I’ve known this man, was quite different. 
 

When I told my best friend, I stated that I’d eaten junk food before bed and had a nightmare.  She made clear that she didn’t think it a nightmare at all and that he’s a really great guy.  Such a great guy that I began to more deeply evaluate the reasons why I might be dreaming about marrying a man that I’ve never even flirted with or found myself attracted to.  In so doing, we found that aside from the physical, he is everything that I reference on my relationship need list.  He is the “spiritual, socially aware, health conscious, educated, lover of God and family” that I find myself in wanting to someday wed.

Though I can’t say why I’m dreaming about him, I will say that in recent months I have had everyone from friends to complete strangers and even my daughters teacher, try to “hook me up”, causing me to evaluate some of my relationship hang-ups. Years ago, at a time in my life when I had a very specific height requirement (which David Banner exceeds…but I digress) I remember telling my best friend’s mom what I was looking for in a guy.  Her response was that, though she didn’t do it, most women wed within 3 inches of their natural height.  I IMMEDIATELY dismissed this, as a lover of 5+ inch heels, but the last dream and conversation with my best friend really made me think. I have never trusted anyone to “hook me up”.  However, if there were ever a being that you can completely trust to “hook you up” with the right person, it’s God.  Do I believe that this man has been set aside for me or that we’ll ever interact in a fashion other than the way we do now…not really, but I do know that if it ever came up, I would probably buy some flat shoes!!


Too often we allow what we want or what we think is best for us to cloud our hearing and understanding of God’s nudging of our spirit.  Don’t let your hang-ups deter you from being open to what God has for you, whether it be in a marriage, relationship, or any other blessing He has in store for you.  Be mindful of the Spirit leading you in the right direction.



Follow Me as I Follow God.

- @RevealingRuth

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